Medical alphabet soup

When I was accepted into medical school, my parents gave me a new Stedman's Medical Dictionary.
It's not a small pocket book.  No, the Stedman's is a grand book every bit equal in size to a Webster's Collegiate Dictionary.  That pretty much solidifies the argument that medicine has a language all it's own.

 Our decision to move to Australia, of all places, was made in part because we, like many Americans, are bound by our dependence on the English language.  Thus, a move to Australia felt safe enough, in that we would not have to learn a new language.  But, just as we have had to learn a new twist on English, I have had to learn a new twist on "Medical". 
Not just new words, but the abbreviations are maddening!  I'll show you what I mean.
First, however, I must point out that I discuss here out of love, humor, information, entertainment.  Not, in any way, critical.  I mean, how could I be critical of a top-tier medical system that provides compassionate care to such a diverse population spread across a vast amount of land?  Well, I can, but I won't just yet.

Let's start with you, the patient.
Dial 000 (Triple zero)
If you call for the ambulance, you get QAS.  (Queensland Ambulance Service)
  Staffed by the "Ambos"
If you call the police, you get QPS.  Don't confuse the two.

QAS may then bring you to the ED.  (Emergency Department)

There, you will be seen by a nurse and a doctor.
Now, in order of level of training, the doctor could be an SMO (Senior Medical Officer, like me), a PHO (Principal House Officer), a RMO (Resident Medical Officer), or an Intern.
If you need a specialist or admission to the hospital, you will then see the Registrar or their supervisor, the Consultant.
If you have to have surgery, the Surgical Registrar will take you to Theatre.  No, you will not be going to see a musical, you will be in the "Surgical Theatre".
But wait, you may have heard of going to a Surgery.  That's different.  That's where you see the doctor in their office, or "Surgery".
If you need to see your family doctor, you will go see your GP (General Practitioner) in the GP Surgery. 
If you get a prescription, you take it to the Chemist.  And if that prescription is paid for by the government, it must be a PBS drug.  (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme)
Confused yet?

I work at CCH&HS (Capricorn Coast Hospital and Health Service).
I've also been working some at RBH (Rockhampton Base Hospital).
Not to be confused with RBWH (Royal Brisbane and Womens Hospital).
If you go there, you might go by RFDS (Royal Flying Doctor Service).

If you break your arm, you'll likely get a backslab (not a splint).

If it hurts, you might take Panadol (paracetamol), which is the equivalent of Tylenol (acetaminophen).  Or you could take Brufen (ibuprofen).
If you have chest pain, you won't get nitroglycerin (NTG), you'll get glyceryl trinitrate (GTN).

In my relatively brief time in Oz, I've had the privilege to work in a small local hospital, as well as a very large regional hospital.  I've seen a wide variety of cases, from runny noses to snake bites, cattle-related injuries, train injuries, heart attacks, embedded fish-hooks, Ross River Fever, flying fox bites, and on and on. 
But, as I had hoped, this is exactly what I needed to snap me out of the complacency that can come without new challenges.  The challenges of learning new names, new ways of treating illness, new places to practice, and new types of illness has been a wonderful experience so far.
And as I always remember, I am truly grateful for this country, this hospital, and these wonderful people of Australia who have welcomed our family with open arms.
C-Ya M8!